A Time of Healing
by Josi
Summary: Romano and Elizabeth spend time together during Robert's recovery. Takes place shortly after the end of season 9. Cordano friendship/love.
1. How Are You Healing?

**A Time of Healing**

**Disclaimer:** I own neither ER nor any of its characters and I'm not trying to make any profit by this story.

**Author's note:** This story takes place somewhere during the summer between seasons 9 and 10, about a month after the Evil Amputation. It's about Romano and Elizabeth and how they find themselves in each other's company during the time of Romano's medical leave. I've read no spoilers for season 10, so there won't be any of them in this story either. Whatever will be written, will be pure speculation of what might happen. 

There's not so much dialogue in the first chapter, so I don't know if it makes it harder to read, but I'm just trying to set things up here and the writing might change in the future chapters to be more dialogue driven.

I'm not American and I don't speak English as my first language, so there might be occasional errors in grammar, general lack of versatility, and a tendency to use British terms rather than American, because I'm European and better accustomed writing and speaking in the British way. But I'll do my best to avoid any mistakes.

Rated **PG-13** for now, but the rating may go up in later chapters.

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Chapter 1  ~ How Are You Healing? 

It was one of those days in the summer when everything seemed to be in a standstill. The sun was shining from a cloudless sky and the heat was almost unbearable. Everyone lucky enough to be out of work had either fled the city for holidays or were locked inside of their air conditioned houses, sipping cold drinks and watching football and whatnot on their satellite TVs. That is, everyone except Robert Romano, who had already spent a month in that fashion and had grown tired of it.

It was now exactly four weeks since he had been admitted home from the hospital where he had had his arm amputated, the same hospital where he had worked for several years as a surgeon. But it was all over now. For an entire month he hadn't set a foot inside of that building, nor had he met any of the people working there. Most of them he didn't even wish to see, and the one he did miss, he was trying to forget. 

He had seen her once, two weeks ago, but she had not seen him. She had been walking down the street with that new surgeon, Dorsett, and they had been so absorbed in each other's company that they hadn't even noticed Robert on the other side of the road and Robert certainly hadn't made any attempt to be seen. They had looked ever so much like a couple that he had had no wish to go and break the mood . He would only have ended up insulting the Doorstep if he had gone there, of that he was sure.

In a way he was happy for Elizabeth that she was finally moving on with her life and letting go of the past, but as much as he tried to explain himself how good it was for her, he couldn't help but feel a sting of jealousy every time he thought about her together with that tall and handsome surgeon or imagined her smiling at him and learning to live again in his arms. 

Walking slowly down the deserted street, Robert smiled ruefully at this own situation: during the course of one year he had lost his arm, his carefully built career as a surgeon, his much sought after job as the Chief of Staff; basically everything he had ever had, and he here was pining, not for all the things he had lost, but for the one thing he had never had. Life was a bitch, and Robert knew it, so who was he to complain? He had already hit the rock bottom, so now there would only be one way to go, and that was up.

The thought lifted his spirits slightly and he decided to extend his tour of the city to the river, the closest to the County he had been yet after the amputation. An ambulance drove by. It had to be on its way to County. Maybe Elizabeth would be there to meet the patient, whoever the lucky bastard was. Or maybe the poor soul would be treated by Pratt the Brat or Dorsett the Doorstep, maybe even Weaver the Beaver. Robert snorted. At least his life would never be completely useless as long as he could find ways of making fun of certain people.

After a while he arrived to the river bank that was near the bridge. The water looked as filthy as ever, probably even more so than usually, because the flow was almost non-existent. It hadn't been raining in days. Robert soon continued his way towards the bridge. There had to be a bench somewhere where he could sit down for a while before starting the long way back home. He was tired and thirsty. The heat was finally getting the better of him.

Robert sat down on the first bench he could find, drawing a piece of cloth from his pocket to wipe the sweat from his forehead and neck. He was startled to hear a familiar voice from behind his back:

"I didn't realize people still used handkerchiefs." 

Robert turned around swiftly, his face lighting up despite his attempts of self control.

"Lizzie!"

He was rewarded with a smile that sent flutters through his entire body. Then he caught himself from staring at her face and looked away.

Elizabeth sat down beside him. She was happy to see Robert. She hadn't even realized how much she had missed him. Surely, she had felt there was something missing from County during the weeks Robert had been gone, but she hadn't quite been able to grasp the feeling before now. She had missed him.

"How are you healing?" she asked when the conversation, or the lack thereof,  seemed to be leading them nowhere. "Is it still hurting?"

Robert shook his head. "Nah…I'm okay." But he could see Elizabeth wasn't quite convinced, so he looked up firmly and continued: "Do you think I'd be walking around the city on a day like this if I was in pain?"

Elizabeth's frown cleared and she chuckled lightly:

"Well, knowing you as I do, Robert, I wouldn't be surprised if you were!"

"What? Are you trying to imply you think I am some sort of a masochist? Lizzie, I must say I'm very disappointed."

"I'm not implying anything." Elizabeth replied innocently, the smile never leaving her face. It suddenly occurred to Robert that  she seemed happier than he had seen her in a long time. He wondered if he should ask about Dorsett, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to know. Finally he decided to take the longer way around and see where the conversation would take them. If he was lucky he'd be able to gather all the information he wanted by counting the times Dorsett's name would be mentioned. If she'd speak of nothing else, then he could be certain it was serious.

"So," he started, casually, staring at the river as he spoke: "I take it you're coming from work? Or going?"

"Coming. I had an early morning shift." Elizabeth replied brightly. "Actually, it was the last one before my vacation. I'll now be off for two weeks."

"Going somewhere?"

"No. I thought about going to London, but I changed my mind about it, so I'll just stay home and spend time with Ella."

Not one word about Dorsett. Robert was happy, but not quite satisfied yet. Maybe she just wanted to spare his feelings by not mentioning the guy? He decided to try a different approach:

"You know, I actually saw you the other day." He noted matter-of-factly, as if it was something he had just remembered.

"Really?" Elizabeth looked at him in surprise. "Why didn't you come to talk to me?"

"You had some company, so I didn't want to disturb."

"Oh?" Elizabeth raised a quizzical eyebrow. 

"You know, that surgeon, whatshisname…Door-something?"

"Dorsett."

"Yeah, the same guy. I – " Robert hesitated a bit. "I thought you might be on a date or something."

Elizabeth frowned.

"When was this?"

"About two weeks ago."

"Well…yeah." Elizabeth was stretching her words. She wasn't sure of how much she should confess, but finally she decided to tell it all as it was. After all, one of the best qualities in the long and tumultuous relationship between her and Robert was the fact that they so often were honest for each other.

"I guess we kind of did have something going on at the time…" Elizabeth began. "Nothing serious, really." She hastened to add as she saw Robert's eyes darken. "We had a bit of fun together, for a time, and that was it. We both acknowledged from the beginning that it wouldn't last."

Robert nodded. That was all he needed to know for now. 

"What about you?" Elizabeth's next, slightly hesitant question took Robert by surprise. When had she ever asked or been in any way interested about his personal life?

"Uh…Well, nothing worth reporting really. You already met the lady I've been sharing my bed with for the last few years."

Elizabeth looked perplexed. Robert grinned at the expression on her face as he added: "Really Lizzie, I would have thought you'd remember your patients better, especially the rare cases, like the ones walking on four feet."

The look of disbelief on Elizabeth's face turned into an amused smile as the realization hit her.

"Oh, you mean that big hairy thing you once brought to the OR", she smirked. "I take it she came out all right of the operation?"

"Yeah, she's doing great."

"I'm glad to hear it." Elizabeth replied, turning to look at her watch and then back to Robert, regret in her eyes. "I'm sorry, but I have to go now. I promised Chris to come and release her as soon as I'd get out of work. She has some important meeting…"

Robert immediately stood up.

"I won't keep you then. I was actually on my way back home anyway."

Elizabeth also got up, stretching her clothes. Robert hadn't even realized how lovely she looked before now that he was properly looking at her. She was wearing a skirt that was up to her knees and a top which gave away her fine figure, any extra clothing would have been too much on a day like that and for once Robert fully appreciated the heat that had invaded Chicago that week. The hair, full of curls as ever, looked lighter and it was shining in the bright sunlight, as were her eyes, staring at the flowing river and reflecting the water.

He quickly averted his eyes when Elizabeth turned to face him again. She was smiling:

"It was nice to bump into you, to catch up with everything."

"Yeah…" Robert replied. He looked at Elizabeth and decided he'd have to give it a go, just one last time, or he'd regret forever: "So, would you mind…eh… bumping into me some other time, maybe later this week?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"I mean, would you mind meeting me again?" Robert clarified and, seeing Elizabeth's hesitation, added: "You know, it wouldn't have to be a…date."

Elizabeth looked at him, first uncertain, then a little smile finally taking over.

"I'd like that." She replied simply.

Robert could scarcely believe his ears. Maybe the sun was affecting his brain? Or hers? Elizabeth chuckled as she noticed Robert's disbelief.

"I mean it", she assured him. "Call me tonight and we can talk more about it. I really need to go now."

With that she left, leaving Robert in a mixture of feelings that were disbelief, happiness, doubt and joy, all mangling his brain with different effects. He'd really have to get inside and cool off before permanent damage was done.

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So, should I continue? Any feedback, good and bad, would be welcome.


	2. The Long Hours of Loneliness

**A Time of Healing 2**

**Disclaimer:** I own neither ER nor any of its characters and I'm not trying to make any profit by writing this story.

**Author's note:** This story takes place somewhere during the summer between seasons 9 and 10, about a month after the Evil Amputation. It's about Romano and Elizabeth and how they find themselves in each other's company during the time of Romano's medical leave. I've read no spoilers for season 10, so there won't be any of them in this story either. Whatever will be written, will be pure speculation of what might happen. 

I'm not American and I don't speak English as my first language, so there might be occasional errors in grammar, general lack of versatility, and a tendency to use British terms rather than American, because I'm European and better accustomed writing and speaking in the British way. But I'll do my best to avoid any mistakes.

Rated **PG-13** for now, but the rating may go up in later chapters.

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Chapter 2 ~ The Long Hours of Loneliness 

About an hour later Robert was back to where he had started his stroll; his own porch. Reaching for his key and shoving it into the tiny hole in the door he was happy to hear loud barking coming from inside. For the second time that day someone was able to bring a smile on his lips. First it was Elizabeth, now Gretel, his dog. Maybe there really was light in the end of the tunnel that only a few days ago had seemed so endless. 

As soon as the door was open, Robert had to reach for the wall for support, because a large bouvier immediately rushed panting from the hall to greet her master. 

"Hey, beauty. Did you miss me or are you just waiting for dinner?" Robert spoke affectionately to the dog, patting her with the one hand he had. Without hesitation Gretel replied by getting up on her back feet, resting the front paws on her owner's chest chest, and starting to lick his face.

At least someone still found him worthy of a long, wet kiss - if  anyone but another dog could call that a kiss. But enough was enough. Even though the drool would probably mingle well with all the sweat he had already produced, Robert was quite ready to leave the sun behind him and get inside the house to cool down. So, once Gretel had finished wetting his face, he gently pushed her aside, keeping up their little conversation:

"Okay, okay. That's enough." He muttered to the dog. "You'll get your meal. No need to eat me." 

But as Robert entered the house and closed the door behind him, he felt some of his earlier unhappy feelings return, as if everything that had happened outside had only been a dream and he had just been brought back to reality. The dull air that instantly met his nostrils inside of the house was more than enough to remind him of all the endless hours he had spent there alone after the amputation. He had locked himself in, trying to lock the rest of the world out, as if that was going to save him from other people's pitying stares. But now that he had spent one afternoon outdoors, returning home wasn't as easy as he had thought, especially as he had been reminded of the one person he missed the most.

The meeting with Elizabeth had been bittersweet. Seeing her, looking as beautiful and smiling as she did, and hearing her say that Dorsett no longer was a part of her life, was more than he could ever have dreamt of when he had left his home. Hell, just a fleeting glance at her from a distance would have been more than he could have dared to hope for, and the kind of conversation they had had was something that was only supposed to take place in his wildest dreams. Or, well, the wildest ones went of course far beyond that, but that was beside the point. She had agreed to meet him again later. Not without hesitation, but still, she had agreed to see him somewhere outside work, and that was the only thing that mattered.. She had even smiled while delivering the response. The bitter part just happened to be that she had only consented after he had ruled out the possibility of it being a date. 

Was the idea of dating him really that repulsive to her?

The thought that had often haunted Robert, returned to him once more. Yet, she hadn't really seemed disgusted by the suggestion, just uncertain of how to reply. Now that Robert thought about it, he began to wonder if she might even have been considering the possibility of accepting. At least she hadn't turned him down immediately, which had to be a good sign. 

_'Well, a guy can always dream_', Robert sighed to himself as he wandered through the empty house, eventually making it to the kitchen after taking his time in the bathroom to wash his hand and face. It was time to start preparing some food for both him and Gretel, and for the first time after being admitted home from the hospital, he actually felt like eating. 

As it turned out, making food wasn't an easy task to do with the help of only one hand, but Robert had been determined from the beginning to get by without any help, and by now he had already learnt to make the simple dishes on his own. If any food did fall on the floor in the process of cooking, Gretel was there to make sure it wouldn't stay there for long. 

Before too long the meal was ready and everything set on the table. Watching the dinner on his plate, Robert could not help feeling pleased with himself. If only Elizabeth could see him now; see that he was still capable of taking care of himself and making better food than most people ever learned to make even if they had both of their hands. At least she would have one reason less to pity him. 

This thought soon brought Robert a new idea: What if he'd invite her over for a dinner? For him the thought was more than appealing, but would that sound too much like a date for her? Elizabeth probably expected that they'd just meet somewhere in public, sit down for a while to have a little chat and then go their separate ways. A perfectly innocent non-date. 

Robert sighed. Of course even that would be millions of times better than not seeing her at all, but was it enough for him? He didn't need to answer the question. In his heart he knew it would never be enough, but he'd take it anyway. Pathetic maybe, but true. 

Robert and Gretel finished their respective meals in silence. She was happily concentrating on the food while he kept staring across the table, trying to imagine Elizabeth sitting there, smiling at him. The thought was tempting and, as Robert finally made up his mind, definitely worth trying. He could at least suggest it and then try something else if she freaked out. 

Yes. That would be his plan. But it was still too early to get up and make the call. He didn't want to appear to eager.

After a while he stood up from the table, silently did the dishes and then went on to his office, planning to pass the time by reading a book. Looking at his watch, he decided he'd have to wait at least two hours, maybe three, before he could pick up the phone and call - he'd just have to make sure he'd make the call before it was Ella's bed time. If he wanted to impress the mother he'd have to take everything into consideration, and waking up the child just after she had fallen asleep would not make him look good in Elizabeth's eyes.

The evening seemed to drag on endlessly and Robert had already begun to wonder if he had managed to pick up the most boring book of his collection when he finally looked up at the clock on the wall and decided it was time:

He slowly set down the book and, once he had freed his hand, reached out for the telephone. He didn't have to look up the number. He had never called Elizabeth at home before, but he had often been sitting and staring at the number, toying with the idea of calling her. In fact, he had done so almost every night after his last surgery, the one in which he had been the patient, but then he had always talked himself out of it. This time he would actually pick up the phone and dial the number. 

Waiting for Elizabeth to pick up was harder than he had expected:

One ring. Two. What if she was already trying to put Ella to bed? Three. What if she was taking a bath? Four. Was she just sitting in front of the telephone and waiting for him to give up? Had she changed her mind?

Finally Robert let out a relieved sigh as he could hear Elizabeth's voice from the other end of the line.

"Hello?" The voice sounded a bit uncertain. Was she as nervous as he was?

"Uh…Hi, it's me, Robert." 

"Hi." The voice seemed to relax a bit. In fact, it soon caught a slightly teasing tone as Elizabeth continued: "I was beginning to wonder if you had actually forgotten all about our conversation."

_'As if.' _

"Well, I would have called earlier, but I was reading this very exciting book and then the time just kind of flew by." Robert replied in the same easy manner. He knew he was lying and Elizabeth probably knew it too, but he had to at least try and keep up the appearances.

"I hope neither of you were sleeping yet," he then continued in a more serious tone.

"No. Amazingly enough your timing was perfect. I was just planning to put Ella to bed soon. Now she's still watching the cartoons."

Robert sighed in relief. So far so good. If only he knew how to go on and make his proposition. He was surprised of how soon Elizabeth came to the rescue.

"So, have you thought about…about what we should do together?" The words came out quickly, as if she just wanted to get them out. Maybe she really was as nervous as he was? Not that he should be surprised about it. The situation was new to both of them, probably even more so for Elizabeth. He at least had been going through these conversations several times in his dreams. She had probably only done so in her nightmares.

Funny how things could change. 

"Right…" Robert had to remind himself that this time it was all real and he'd actually have to say something instead of just drifting off to his dreams. "I was thinking…I mean, it's just an idea and we can think of something else if you don't want to…but…"

"Yes?" 

"I could serve you dinner at my place…if that's okay for you, of course" Robert finally managed to spit it out.

He was met with a silence from the other end of the line.

"I mean, we could always go to the Burger King's or something," he hastened to add. "But I don't know if that's…"

"It sounds lovely." Elizabeth interrupted him.

"What? The Burger King's?" Robert was hoping she meant the first suggestion, but he wasn't going to beg for it. 

Fortunately he didn't have to.

"Very funny, Robert." Elizabeth retorted. Robert could almost picture her rolling her eyes. "Of course I meant the dinner at your place. Come to think of it, I don't think I have ever seen your house before."

Robert could hardly believe his own luck, but he carefully repressed any signs of his excitement. Instead, he chose to speak calmly:

"Well, it's about the time you see it then. It's a fine house. When would you be ready to come?"

"When will you be ready to have me?"

"Would tomorrow night be too soon?" Robert bit his lip. He hadn't intended to suggest a time so near. As if he couldn't wait another day to see her. Well, maybe he couldn't, but she didn't have to know it. 

"Tomorrow sounds good actually." He was relieved to hear her response. "Chris already offered to come and take care of Ella tomorrow night. Apparently she thought I might want to go somewhere on my first day off. I was going to decline as I had no plans for the night, but maybe I'll take her up for her offer after all."

"Great. Then it's all settled?" Robert still had a hard time believing this was all really happening.

"I'll be there tomorrow. What time do you think you'll be ready?"

"Would 6 o'clock be fine?"

"Sounds good to me. I'll see you then."

They both exchanged 'good nights' and then the conversation was over. Robert set down the telephone and leaned back in his chair. He had to sit still for a long time before everything began to sink in to him. It was hard to get rid of the feeling that this was all too good to be true. If he'd only pinch himself he'd probably wake up and realize it had all been a dream. But he did not pinch himself. If this was a dream, he did not wish to wake up. 

To be continued….


	3. Your Touch

**_A Time of Healing 3_**

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**Disclaimer:** I own neither ER nor any of its characters and I'm not trying to make any profit by writing this story.

**Author's note:** This story takes place somewhere during the summer between seasons 9 and 10, about a month after the Evil Amputation. It's about Romano and Elizabeth and how they find themselves in each other's company during the time of Romano's medical leave. I've read no spoilers for season 10, so there won't be any of them in this story either. Whatever will be written, will be pure speculation of what might happen. 

Rated **PG-13** for now, but the rating may go up in later chapters.

I'm sorry it has taken me so long to update. What can I say? It's summer and I keep traveling in and out of town all the time so it hasn't been very easy to find the time to sit down in front of my computer and write. This is a rather short chapter and it's only about half of what I originally intended to put in this chapter, but I just wanted to let you know I'm still alive and writing, so I decided to post the little stuff I have. :o)

Chapter 3 ~ Her Touch 

The next morning Robert was up before the sun. Amazingly enough he had been able to catch sleep quite easily in the evening, as if his mind had suddenly found unexpected peace, but in the early hours of the morning the calmness had eventually given way to the butterflies that were beginning to flutter in his stomach. As he opened his eyes to the first rays of light in the morning, he knew he had no time to waste in dreaming. This was reality and he had a lot to do before the evening. Preparing the dinner itself was in fact, at the moment, one of the least of his worries.

The entire house was in serious need of a throughout cleaning and ventilation. Usually Robert always had someone else to do the cleaning for him, but lately he hadn't been willing to let anyone in, not even to do the housework, nor had he been bothered to do much by himself. He had been too busy being swallowed by his self pity to care much about his surroundings. It was not like he had been expecting anyone to come and see him anyway. But now it would have to change. He had to get a grip of himself and start caring again.

Without wasting any more time, Robert got up of his bed, quickly finished shaving and started his day by taking a tour around the house, trying to get some idea of how much he actually had to do. While striding from room to room, he kept opening doors and windows; anything to get the stuffy air moving. Gretel who had been up and about even before her master, chose to show her support by following him to every corner of the house. But when the time came to take out the vacuum cleaner - the noisy monster that Gretel had never dared to approach - she ran whimpering away, leaving Robert alone. He heaved a great sigh and then wordlessly begun the huge task of cleaning the floors that were littered with dust and dog hair.

After a while Robert switched the vacuum cleaner into a mop and as he got more and more wrapped up in the work, he soon began humming to himself, first silently and then a bit more loudly, until the humming eventually turned into singing and Robert began taking little dance moves while mopping the floor:

"You know what I'd like? I'd like to wake up miles from here, 

_A cabin in the woods somewhere,_

_With the rocking chair_

_You know what I'd like?_

_To drive form here to Santa Fe,_

_And leave my past along the way,_

_For yesterday _

Robert  stopped and closed his eyes, imagining himself resting somewhere far away from the heat and noise of Chicago. He had lived in the city all his life, save the few years he had spent in Europe, and only during the last few months had he really began hoping he could start over somewhere else. Anywhere but here… Shaking his head, he continued singing and working:

_You know what I'd like?_

_I'd like to write a symphony,_

_To play my life in every key,_

_In harmony_

Harmony. When had his life ever been in harmony? Probably his daily routines during the days he  was still working could be called harmony by some, but in truth he had never felt in harmony with himself.

_Take you away,_

_We can spend some time alone,_

_Build a house and call it home,_

_Oh baby I'm home_

To be able to take her away with him, wherever he'd go. If only that were possible. He wouldn't care about his missing arm, at least not that much, if he could just hold her in the other one…

_I'm tangled up in all the lives_

_Of all the books I know_

_I'd like to just let go_

_You know what I'd like? _

_I'd like the crazy days to end,_

_To close my eyes and count to ten,_

_And start again,_

_Start again_

_Start again…" *_

Robert quietly trailed off. If only he could start again, undo a year of his life and go back to the day he had lost his arm. In his mind he had often done so, asking himself the question 'why'? Should he have let the chart go? Should he just have let Luka take the first helicopter? -Probably, but eventually his mind had gone further in the search of the answer: Carter had called him up earlier, begging him to come to the ER to save some kid. If he had gone, he would have been safely in the quarantine while the chopper was on the roof. Spending a couple of weeks locked up with the ER idiots would undoubtedly have been a torture, but now it certainly seemed like a small price to pay for two good arms.

Robert sighed, returning to the present again. At least the floor was now shining. He could almost see his own mirror on it. Perhaps he could still consider a second career as a housekeeper? Robert snorted. Well, at least there was one house he'd be only too happy to keep if the owner only would be willing to take him. Hell, he'd even take up babysitting for such a deal. Ella would probably make better company than the ER jerks anyway.

The thought brought a hint of a smile on Robert's face as he continued his cleaning task. Maybe he should write a job application for Elizabeth, just to see the look on her face. He had never hesitated to go to great lengths to make her pretty jaw drop, or just to get her irritated, as she was always so sexy when she got angry and heated. Although lately it had been refreshing just to see her smile. 

Silently he decided that tonight he wouldn't save any trouble to lure that smile out of her again. And if everything went well he'd have plenty of time to shock and irritate her later. 

The rest of the day went by quicker than any which Robert could remember from his recent past. After finishing the huge job that was cleaning his house, he had to hurry to the nearest grocery store to find the best ingredients for the dinner he had planned, and as soon as he was back, he had to start the preparations for the meal. Before he even knew it was half past five, the food was simmering in the oven, and he hadn't yet even decided what to wear.

Robert stopped on his heels in the middle of the room as the thought hit him. What would he wear? Jeans, trousers, shorts? A T-shirt or something a bit more fancy? Finally he came to the conclusion that it would have to be something casual enough so that it wouldn't look like he was expecting a big date, yet it couldn't be anything too shabby either, just in case she had decided to dress up.

Fifteen minutes later, when Robert was only halfway through buttoning the shirt he had, after great deliberation, chosen for himself, the bell rang. Robert froze. She was there, behind his door. It was still early, but as Robert peeked through the curtains that were covering his window, he could see her car parked on the street. It was definitely her. 

Downstairs Gretel had started barking excitedly the moment the bell had rang and Robert knew she was already preparing to jump on the visitor as soon as he would come and open the door.

But Robert found himself in trouble with the buttons of his shirt. Half of his chest was still bare and buttoning the shirt with only one hand had been hard enough even before his remaining hand had started trembling at the sound of the door bell. He soon realized he only had two options; either to go and open the door half dressed or stay to button up the shirt and run the risk of missing Elizabeth entirely. If she was as nervous as she had sounded on the phone yesterday, she probably would not wait for long behind his door. She'd be only too happy of the excuse to get away, and after that it would be almost impossible to get another chance – No, in fact, getting the first chance had been _almost_ impossible. If he screwed this one up there wouldn't be another opportunity.

Having cleared that up for himself, Robert didn't have to consider the options for long; he hurried downstairs, his shirt unbuttoned over the chest, and went to open the door, all the while trying to block Gretel from rushing from behind him to tackle Elizabeth.

As Robert opened the door Elizabeth opened her mouth as if to begin a speech she had been practicing for a while:

"Hi, Robert I…" she began, but didn't get far before she suddenly came a halt. Robert watched quietly as her eyes, which at first had been focused on Gretel's attempts to get through the doorway, suddenly darted from the dog to the owner and his unusual attire. For a while she was quite explicitly gaping at his bare chest. 

Then Elizabeth obviously caught herself from staring and she quickly averted her eyes, blushing. She muttered something about being early and seemed completely to have forgotten whatever it was that she had been intending to say at first. This unusual sight of Elizabeth being completely out of balance gave Robert a boost of confidence he hadn't been expecting.

"Eh…yeah," he began working on his buttons again, flashing a grin at Elizabeth as he did so. "You see, I didn't have the time to dismiss the other girl yet, but if you will wait in the kitchen I'm sure…"

Elizabeth blinked and seemed to get a hold of herself again.

"Very funny, Robert," she cut in dryly. "I see you haven't lost your impeccable sense of humor yet." But in spite of the somewhat cold tone of her words she seemed be having some difficulties keeping a straight face. Robert only winked at her, not expecting the exchange to go any further, but just as he was going to invite Elizabeth in, she stepped closer to him and, to his great surprise and delight, hesitantly lifted her hands to where his hand was still struggling with the remaining buttons. 

Robert held his breath as she gently took over the task and began buttoning up the shirt, slowly, one by one, her fingers lingering on each button slightly longer than would have been necessary.  She kept her eyes strictly fixed on her task, but Robert wasn't sure whether she was only studiously avoiding his eyes or if she was, as he secretly hoped, keeping her eyes on his chest for other reasons; taking in the scent of his after shave like he always tried to take in her perfume whenever he had the opportunity. But it didn't seem very likely. 

When Elizabeth finally stepped back, giving a fleeting glance at Robert as she did so, he silently let out the breath he had been holding. Her face was so unreadable. Part of him was wishing for the courage to pull her back to him, to make her show some affection, but in the end the sensible part of his brain won. He wasn't going to screw up this one opportunity by moving too fast. Whatever it was that had drawn Elizabeth to help him with his shirt was probably nothing from her part. What may have felt like a seductive touch to him had probably been nothing but a surgeon's carefulness from her. 

Yet, he couldn't let her get away without at least trying to make her blush again. Heck, if he was too subdued and considerate she'd soon start thinking she had entered the wrong house and that the real Robert Romano was residing somewhere else:

"Couldn't bear the raw temptation of my bare chest any longer?" Robert attempted to reach the usual snarkiness of his tone, but he knew he was doing rather pathetic job out of it as he was still quite off balance after her closeness. He could almost still feel her breath on his body.

Elizabeth, on the other hand, seemed to have managed to collect herself much more successfully:

"No, just couldn't bear the sight of your bare chest." she retorted as she strode past Robert. The response might have been enough to bring Robert down for the rest of the evening had he not almost certainly seen her blush as she delivered the punch. He opened his mouth to try and get more out of her, but then, deciding not to push it, he only closed the door behind them and wordlessly followed Elizabeth into the house. He would have an entire evening together with her and it would be pointless to spoil the promising beginning.

To be continued 

* "Miles From Here", from the new edition of the "Fame" soundtrack. Song performed by Paul McCrane

****


	4. Your Kiss

**_A Time of Healing 4_**

**Disclaimer:** I own neither ER nor any of its characters and I'm not trying to make any profit by writing this story.

**Author's note:** This story takes place somewhere during the summer between seasons 9 and 10, about a month after the Evil Amputation. It's about Romano and Elizabeth and how they find themselves in each other's company during the time of Romano's medical leave. I've read no spoilers for season 10, so there won't be any of them in this story either. Whatever will be written, will be pure speculation of what might happen. 

Rated **PG-13** for now, but the rating may go up in later chapters.

Special thanks to Mimi for beta reading this chapter!

Chapter 4 ~ Your Kiss 

As Elizabeth stood looking at the hall around her, Robert took the opportunity to take in her appearance. She looked lovely as ever - but that, of course, went without saying. Much to Robert's satisfaction she seemed to have paid at least some more attention to her appearance than on an average work day, making it very easy for him to imagine they were on a real date. She was wearing a light skirt that ended just below her knees and an unbuttoned see-through blouse over a top that seemed to be of some finer cloth, but also slightly less revealing than the one she had been wearing the day before, when he had ran into her at the riverbank. Her hair was tied loosely behind her neck, some errant curls falling graciously on the sides of her face. 

In Robert's mind there was only one word to describe the sight in front of him; beautiful. But he felt that was an understatement.

He even went as far as to consider saying some compliment about her appearance out loud, before Gretel's barking brought him back to his senses. He bent down to pat the pet and, when he noticed that Elizabeth had wandered off the hearing range, he whispered to the dog:

"Are you jealous, huh?" Gretel panted enthusiastically. "Don't worry girl, I think you're quite beautiful too, but," Robert looked up to see Elizabeth approaching him again and lowered his voice before continuing: "You've got to give her some credit. Or have _you ever sprouted such pretty curls out of your head?"_

At this point they were interrupted by Elizabeth:

"If I didn't know better I'd say the two of you are plotting something against me," she spoke, smiling mischievously. She had completely pulled herself together again after the unsettling first meeting at the front door, and was determined to keep the conversation light-hearted.

"Lizzie, I'm wounded by the obvious lack of trust you have in me," Robert replied with mock disappointment, deciding to follow her lead and continue the easy banter. "After all these years you still think I would pull a…"

"Robert, after all these years I don't think, I _know_." Elizabeth interjected, crossing her arms over her chest. They were both smiling, secretly enjoying the sparring. Gretel, on the other hand, was looking from Robert to Elizabeth, seemingly distressed about the fact that something, which she could neither understand nor be a part of, was going on between her owner and this strange woman whose hair she couldn't compete with.

"It's such a shame, though," Robert was now faking a pout, ignoring Gretel's attempts to get his attention. "I'm afraid I'll have to find someone else to taunt if you think you've already seen everything."

"That's not what I said." Elizabeth retorted. "I've just known you so long I know to be prepared for anything in your company."

"Now, do you really?" A new risky thought suddenly entered Robert's mind. He could bet she wouldn't be prepared if he now jumped and planted a kiss on her lips. For a while he toyed with the idea, but he knew he didn't have it in him to do it right now. Maybe some years ago, before being continuously rejected by Elizabeth, he might have done it, but now…now he needed a clearer sign of her feelings before he would dare to make a move. He had played with fire before and he had been burnt. It wouldn't happen again.

And speaking of burning…Robert looked up and around. He could smell something burning and, judging by the look on Elizabeth's face, she had caught the scent as well. Then he noticed that Gretel had disappeared from his side and was now barking in the kitchen. Then it dawned to him. The kitchen. The dinner! Robert rushed off. He suddenly remembered he had left the food in the oven.

Elizabeth, who followed him several steps behind, was still well out of the kitchen and could only hear his cursing when he a moment later pulled the food that had once been a delicious lasagna out of the oven. 'So much about showing off with my cooking skills,' Robert thought bitterly. He was just about to throw the entire dish away when Elizabeth reached the kitchen:

"Is that – I mean, was that our dinner?" she asked softly, but Robert could see she was struggling to repress a grin. 

"Just keep on laughing and I _will make you eat this," he shot back._

"I'm not laughing," she insisted, but she was clearly having increasing trouble keeping a straight face.

"Ok, that's it." Robert grabbed a spoon and picked a good mouthful of the burnt lasagna with it. "Open your mouth."

"That's not fair," Elizabeth kept resisting. "I didn't laugh!"

"But you were going to," Robert quipped. " That counts too." The initial disappointment of the spoiled meal was quickly fading away as he noticed how good results the unfortunate event seemed to have. The wall of uncertainty and nervousness that had been hovering between them seemed to have fallen, and before he even knew he had taken a few steps forward and was trying to shove the spoon into Elizabeth's mouth, without even stopping to rethink the action.

Elizabeth seemed to be enjoying herself just as well and she kept jerking her head backwards every time Robert got near enough with his spoon, and all the time she was grinning at him teasingly.

"See? Now you are laughing," he  pointed out when Elizabeth could no longer repress a giggle after his third failed attempt to feed her the burnt food.

"But I'm not laughing at the meal," Elizabeth replied, trying to sound serious. Then, unable to keep a straight face, she let out another giggle and continued: "I'm laughing at you."

"Fine," Robert snapped back, pretending to be hurt. "Now you won't get away with just one spoonful!" He made yet another attempt to force the lasagna on Elizabeth, but this time his effort ended with the contents of the spoon falling on to the floor, and before Robert could even think about breaking the battle and cleaning the floor instead, the food was all already going through Gretel's digestion. 

"See?" Robert bent down to pat his loyal friend. "At least someone knows how to appreciate my cooking."

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows, smiling mischievously.

"I believe that explains it then, why she needed the surgery," she suggested.

"Oh, come on, Lizzie! It's not that bad." Robert was now seriously beginning to doubt that Elizabeth would ever touch any of his cooking again. Despite the good beginning of their date, he was beginning to feel that things weren't going exactly to the right direction – especially if his intention had been to show how well he could manage with only one hand. "You'd be surprised to know how well I actually can cook," he added under his breath, but still audibly.

There was a small hint of defeat in Robert's voice as he spoke and Elizabeth must have noticed it because she soon took a more serious face and moved on to examine the infamous lasagna a bit closer.

"You know, Robert," she said after a while. "I think it still looks pretty good on the inside."

"Define good." Robert grunted, piling some of the burnt stuff on Gretel's plate.

"Anything that doesn't land us in the ER to spend the rest of the evening with a food poisoning," Elizabeth retorted. She picked up another spoon and carved herself a small piece of the lasagna. Robert watched her as she first brought the food under her nose to smell it and then, after a short moment of hesitation, brought it into her mouth. Her expression quickly turned from doubtful to smiling. Robert's heart leapt as she swallowed the food and reached for another spoonful. 

"My, are we now _trying to get a food poisoning or has Dr.Corday misdiagnosed the meal?" he said triumphantly._

"Oh shut up, Robert, and start eating if you're still going to." Elizabeth snorted. "You never know, I might eat it all if you're too tardy."

"Really?" Robert raised his brow. He was pleased to hear her indirect approval of the meal, but his ego wanted more, so he went for fishing: "Are you now complementing my cooking or are you trying to make me believe you always eat like a rhino so that I wouldn't invite you again?"

"Now there's a thought." Elizabeth mused, smiling mischievously. "But, no, actually I'd say you are a good cook – or rather, you might be if you just spent less time talking to your dog in the hall while your meal is burning in the kitchen."

"Lizzie, I'm overwhelmed by your flattering words. Where did you learn to give such smooth compliments?" Robert was determined not to show how pleased he actually was about Elizabeth's words. An outsider would have known nothing of the warm feeling that had landed somewhere inside of his chest - someone who didn't know him might even have thought he was disappointed of the lack of proper recognition, but Robert knew he couldn't fool Elizabeth. 

Their eyes met and he could instantly tell that his own eyes were betraying him. He would have looked away to save his face, but he found himself too enthralled by the pair of blue eyes, only a foot or two away from his own, to move. So, in the end it was Elizabeth who looked away first. And was that a blush on her face? Robert took a deep breath. That would be the second time within one hour, and this time he hadn't even said or done anything. Robert inwardly shook his head. It was probably just the heat. 

He quickly went on to grab a fork and to taste the lasagna to get his attention elsewhere. He had to admit it was good. At least the part of it was which hadn't burned. Without a word, he then began laying the table, but he froze as Elizabeth laid her hand on his arm to stop him.

"I don't think that will be necessary," she said, releasing his arm.

Robert was confused.

"So, now you suddenly don't want to eat anymore?", he asked, still feeling the weight and warmth of Elizabeth's hand on his arm.

"No," she replied, picking up her spoon again. "What I mean is, you have your fork, and I have my spoon, so why don't we just put the lasagna on the table and eat like we've been doing so far. There'll be a lot less dishes to wash."

Robert smiled. He knew she was suggesting it for his comfort, probably not knowing he had a dishwasher, because doing the dishes with only one hand would indeed have been a difficult task. But he didn't bother to inform Elizabeth of this little fact. The thought of bending over a pot of shared lasagna together with her was simply too tempting to be thrown away.

"You're right about that," he therefore said before she could start suspecting anything. "That'll be a lot easier" – 'and more fun,' Robert added to himself before picking up the pot and laying it on the table so that by moving the chairs a bit closer to one another they could both easily reach it.

"You know, this is actually quite good, Robert." Elizabeth pointed out after they had been eating for a while in silence.

"Yeah, you said that already," he replied cheekily. The fact that his legs were nearly touching Elizabeth's under the table – in fact, he had already brushed them against hers a couple of times "by accident" – was a great source of joy to him, and he was on his best mood. He could hardly believe that only yesterday he had been walking the streets of Chicago alone, feeling as if the entire world was against him. 

"Well, it's worth repeating," she stated, finally putting down her fork "It is delicious, but I'm afraid I won't be able to get anywhere tonight if I take one more bite of it."

"And that's a bad thing because…?" Robert was feeling bold. For the first time in many months he was actually feeling like Rocket Romano again.

"Because I have a daughter waiting at home, and a babysitter who has a life of her own and needs to be set free," Elizabeth pointed out, but despite the rather dull tone of her voice, Robert could have sworn there was something almost flirtatious about her expression as she made the reply.

"I see," he replied, wondering if he had just imagined it all.

"So, I guess we'd better call it a night," she continued. "It's getting late."

"Well, you know what they say – time always flies in good company," Robert stated, trying to hide his disappointment. The evening seemed to be ending way too soon.

They both got up and made it out of the kitchen, but in the hall Robert suddenly remembered something.

"I didn't even get the chance to give you a tour of the house yet," he pointed out aloud, wondering if he could persuade her to stay a little longer.

Elizabeth looked around. It was a big house. There was no way the tour could be finished in only  a matter of minutes. Robert could see what she was thinking and sighed inwardly. Apparently there was nothing he could do to delay her departure.

"Well, I guess it's time to say good night then", he said, hoping he wasn't sounding too much like a kid who had just been denied a visit to the zoo.

Elizabeth smiled.

"I suspect the house isn't going anywhere," she began. "So if you want to give me that tour some other time…" 

Robert's head perked up.

"You mean there will be another time?" he blurted out, and then nearly bit off his tongue for sounding like a stupid teenager after a first date. "I mean, _when _will you be up for the next ride?" he hastily added.

"Ride?" Elizabeth raised her brow.

Robert grinned. "Yes, ride. When?"

"Well, tomorrow I'll be spending the entire day with Ella," she thought aloud, "but maybe the day after that, in the afternoon?"

"That sounds fantastic," Robert replied, this time trying not to sound too excited. "If you want to bring Ella with you, that's fine. I think there might still be some toys somewhere around the house."

"Toys? Your old toys?" Elizabeth asked, perplexed.

Robert laughed. He could see she was trying hard to imagine a toddler Romano playing with his toys.

"I bet you'd love that, wouldn't you?" he commented. "But no, what I mean is that my niece, now a teenager, might have left something behind."

"Oh"

There was a silence.

"You're wondering where she is now?" Robert said aloud what Elizabeth hadn't ventured to ask. "You probably wonder why neither she nor her mother, my sister, weren't here when – you know?"

Elizabeth nodded, but then hastened to speak:

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

Robert smiled ruefully.

"Maybe I will some other time," he said. "But tonight - didn't you say you were in a hurry?"

"Yeah," Elizabeth looked at her watch. "I'd really better get going."

She walked to the door, but there she stopped and turned to face Robert again.

"Thanks for the dinner, Robert," she said, smiling. "It was great."

"Thanks for coming," Robert replied in a moment of softness. "I really enjoyed our evening."

"So did I," Elizabeth replied. Then, as if of an impulse, she made her way back to where Robert was standing, kissed his cheek softly and whispered "Good night" into his ear. 

Robert's heart missed several beats the moment her lips touched his cheek, and by the time he had recovered, Elizabeth was already at the door again. With one last parting look, she turned the handle and slipped out into the night, leaving Robert rooted on the spot.

"Good night," he sighed at the door as soon as it was closed again,  absentmindedly bringing his hand to where Elizabeth's lips had been only seconds before.

To be continued… 


	5. Together Again

**_A Time of Healing 5_**

****

**Disclaimer:** I own neither ER nor any of its characters and I'm not trying to make any profit by writing this story.

**Author's note:** This story takes place somewhere during the summer between seasons 9 and 10, about a month after the Evil Amputation. It's about Romano and Elizabeth and how they find themselves in each other's company during the time of Romano's medical leave. I've read no spoilers for season 10, so there won't be any of them in this story either. Whatever will be written, will be pure speculation of what might happen. 

Rated **PG-13** for now, but the rating may go up in later chapters.

Chapter 5 ~ Together Again 

Two nights after dining with Robert, Elizabeth woke up with a start. She had been dreaming – about Robert of all people! She had been at his house again, only this time everything had looked somehow different. First of all, Robert had two arms and he had been outside trimming the garden. She had opened the door that had been ajar, walked through the empty house, and finally found him from the backyard all sweaty, his wet shirt glued to his body, revealing all the muscles. Elizabeth had never seen Robert like that while awake, and she had no idea how the image had entered her mind, but in the dream it had all seemed very natural – and real. Then she had gone to him, without any hesitation – and then, still as if it was the most natural thing in the world, she had kissed him, tasting the sweat on his lips. The dream had ended with Robert muttering against her lips that she was beautiful and that he loved her.

Elizabeth shook her head, returning to reality. It was just a dream. Dreams were supposed to be crazy. Of course she would never really kiss Robert…although technically she already had – she had kissed his cheek. She had no idea what had prompted the action, but at that moment it had seemed like the right thing to do. Elizabeth shook her head again, this time more vehemently. A little peck on the cheek was not the same thing as kissing someone's lips.

But Robert's words from the dream kept ringing through her head:

'I love you, Elizabeth.' Those had been his words, and now that she was fully awake, Elizabeth realized she had heard the words before - only that time she hadn't been the one dreaming. Robert had said those words to her when he had been coming out of his anesthesia after the amputation.

Elizabeth sighed. She hadn't taken the words seriously at the time – or hadn't wanted to take. She had told herself it was all because of the drugs, but she still couldn't completely brush off the possibility of Robert having meant every word he said. In fact, deep down she knew she could only blame the drugs for him having said something he hadn't meant to say, not for him having said something he didn't mean.

A series of memories rushed through Elizabeth's mind as she was trying to convince herself that Robert couldn't possibly love her, but even though the early memories clearly supported this, the latest ones seemed to be indicating that what had once been lust had perhaps indeed turned into something much more over the years.

So, maybe Robert did love her. But did she love him? For the third time that morning, Elizabeth shook her head. Of course she didn't love him. Why was she even asking that of herself, knowing full well what the answer was? She cared about Robert, yes. She couldn't deny that. But there was a great difference between caring and loving. And yet, there was something about her feelings for Robert that she couldn't quite grasp, nor define, nor – and this was the scariest part – control. 

Elizabeth sighed and, willing to take her mind elsewhere, looked at the clock on her bedside table. Only 7. Who would have thought she was having a vacation? Even Ella was still asleep. She yawned. It would be pointless to try to sleep any more, knowing that Ella would probably start making noises in her crib as soon as she'd catch sleep again. She could just as well go and make herself some coffee, and try to forget her dream before seeing Robert again – otherwise the meeting might turn out to be a bit awkward. 

He had called the day before to make sure she was still coming. They had agreed to meet at noon at his house and she would bring Ella with her. At first Elizabeth had been a bit apprehensive about how Ella and Robert would hit it off, but then she had to ask herself what there was to worry: It was not like this was going to turn into any habit. Ella and Robert wouldn't see each other often so it didn't really matter if they'd get along or not.

But still, Elizabeth found herself hoping they would enjoy each other's company. She didn't know what Robert was like with kids, nor was she sure how Ella would react to a man who wasn't her father. Did she even remember Mark anymore? Just as she was considering how to tell Ella about Robert's accident and the fact that he lacked an arm, the little girl started chanting for 'mommy' from her crib, making sure she'd be heard and let out.

"I'm coming my dear," Elizabeth yelled from downstairs, setting down her coffee and climbing the stairs to get Ella. She opened the door to Ella's room, which was right next to her own chamber, and conjured a smile on her face: "Good morning, honey," she greeted her daughter. "Did you sleep well?"

"Ella want out," the girl stated, stomping with her feet. Elizabeth noticed she was getting a bit big for her crib already. She would probably have to start considering buying a real bed soon. 'But not yet,' she told herself as she lifted Ella up from the crib.

A bit later at the breakfast table Elizabeth decided to tell Ella about Robert. She let  the toddler finish her cereal and then began:

"Ella, what do you say if we go to see a friend of mom's today?"

"Who friend?"

"A friend from work," Elizabeth explained. "His name is Robert and he has been a bit sick lately so he'd be happy if someone visited him."

Ella frowned. 

"Mommy always with sick people," she pointed out.

"That's mommy's work," Elizabeth sighed. "Mommy tries to cure sick people so that they can get better again."

"Will mommy make Roba better too?" 

"I don't know if I can," Elizabeth replied, smiling sadly. "You see, Robert had an accident and he hurt his arm very badly – so badly actually that he doesn't have that arm anymore."

"Ow." Ella frowned. "Will mommy put arm back?"

Elizabeth sighed. It was hard to explain a two-year-old about sensory recovery and infections – not to even mention amputations and prosthesis. 

"No," she replied, still with a sad smile on her face. "But mommy will try to make Robert feel better."

"How?"

Now there was a good question, Elizabeth thought. She really had no idea how anyone could make a man feel better after he had lost an arm and a career.  

"I don't know," she replied honestly. "But I will try."

Ella was silent and thoughtful for a while, then she lifted her head determinedly and announced:

"Then Ella will try too."

Elizabeth smiled and got up to hug and kiss her daughter. So far things were going better than she had even dared to hope.

In the meanwhile Robert was busy preparing for the arrival of both Elizabeth and Ella. He had decided on a picnic on the backyard and was making salad and little snacks to be had on the lawn. Keeping himself busy, he found, was a great way of getting his thoughts away from the approaching meeting for which he had two reasons to feel apprehensive. The first was Ella and how she would react to him and his unnatural number of limbs. The second was, as always, Elizabeth. Their dinner two days ago had ended in a way he hadn't even dared to dream of and now he wasn't sure of what he should expect of her or what she expected of him. As much as he wanted to return her favor and greet her with a peck when she arrived, he wasn't sure if she'd allow that. She might already be regretting the fact that she'd kissed his cheek in the first place.

'You wanted a sign. Isn't that sign enough for you?' he kept asking himself, but each time the answer was the same: 'No'. Just because Elizabeth wasn't trying to strangle him wasn't enough of an implication  that she suddenly was falling for him.

But she had agreed to come to see him again today, and she was bringing Ella with her. That had to mean something too. At least she didn't hate him anymore.

This time Robert took care of getting dressed well in time, as well as of having all the food prepared before Elizabeth's arrival. Nothing was going to go wrong.

The doorbell rang at quarter past noon. Elizabeth had also learned from their previous meeting and, instead of arriving earlier than expected, she came, with Ella in tow, fifteen minutes later. Robert was relieved when he finally saw Elizabeth's car pulling in. As much as he hated to admit it, he had already began to fear she had changed her mind. 

Robert hurried down to open the door, but at the doorway they immediately found themselves in a danger of falling into an awkward silence when neither of the adults seemed to be certain of how to greet the other. Fortunately the wall between them was soon broken by Ella's excited exclamation:

"Roba!"

"I told her a bit about you this morning," Elizabeth explained, smiling at Robert's surprised expression.

"Well, that explains it," he noted, also shrugging of the stiffness. "I mean, I know I'm hard to forget and all, but it's been a while since she's seen me – not since –" he cut off, remembering all too well the last time he had seen Ella. By the look on Elizabeth face, she remembered it too.

"Not since last Halloween," she completed the sentence quietly.

Instinctively Robert stole a glance at Elizabeth's left hand, but as he had noticed before, the ring wasn't there anymore. Again, Ella had to save them from another awkward moment:

"Roba sick," she stated, pointing at where Robert's left arm had been.

Robert smiled at the child.

"You think so?" he asked, noticing how blue her eyes were. Just like her mother's.

"Mommy will make Roba better," Ella continued emphatically.

At this point Robert turned his attention from the girl back to her mother.

"Really?" he asked, directing her words to Ella but not letting his eyes leave Elizabeth's face. "Is that what she will do?"

Ella nodded enthusiastically, but Elizabeth did not answer. She colored slightly and then chose to change the subject:

"Robert, are you sure you haven't left anything in the oven?" she asked, her lips slowly curling into a smile.

"As much as that would bring you satisfaction, no," Robert replied in kind, deciding do drop the first subject in order to avoid any more uncomfortable silences. "Everything is prepared for a nice little picnic in the backyard, so there won't be any use for the oven today. Will you follow me?"  

Robert moved aside from the doorway and let Elizabeth enter together with Ella. The house was exactly like it had been two days earlier – but something was clearly missing. Elizabeth looked around. She let Ella down, but kept a hold of her hand so she wouldn't wander too far.

"Where's Gretel?", she asked when she finally figured out what it was that was missing.

"Upstairs, sleeping" Robert replied, getting serious. "I guess it's the heat. She's been pretty much out of it all day. She isn't exactly young anymore."

"I'm sorry," Elizabeth voice was full of compassion. She had seen how much the dog meant to him. "Do you think she'll get better when it cools down, or…?"

"I don't know," he replied. "Probably. She's had days like this before."

"Oh,"

"So, " Now it was Robert who wanted to change the subject. "Shall we get out? I'll just pick up the basket and we can settle down on the lawn."

"Sounds good to me," Elizabeth replied, smiling again. She looked down at her daughter: "Ella?" 

"Out!" Ella stated, and so it was settled.

Robert went to fetch the picnic basket he had prepared and then he led the ladies out of the back door to a large and quiet yard. It looked like there had once been a garden, but lately it had clearly been abandoned. The lawn had grown so that the grass easily reached above the ankles. Two apple trees were standing quietly in the far end of the yard and what flowers grew among the grass were all wild and unkept. Yet, it was the very unruliness of the place that made it look intriguing as opposed to the other well-kept gardens of the neighborhood. 

"Um…I'm sorry this is a bit…messy," Robert began to excuse the surroundings as soon as he stepped out after Elizabeth and Ella. "It's a bit hard to mow the lawn with only…"

"It's lovely," Elizabeth interrupted him, turning to face him with a dreamy look on her face. "Beautiful."

Robert sighed in relief. 

She walked on to where the apple trees were growing and let Ella toddle freely in the long grass. The hedge separating them from the rest of the world was so tall and thick that nothing could be seen of the other side.

"This must be a great place to relax," Elizabeth said conversationally.

"It' ok," Robert replied, having followed her steps. "Do you wan to sit down here?"

"Yeah. I think I could use the shadow of these trees," she nodded. "It's been so hot."

"I know. But we only get this once a year in Chicago so I won't complain."

"You've lived here all your life?"

"I was born and raised here. I guess this is where I'll always keep coming back."

Robert was surprised of how simple it felt to be talking to Elizabeth like this, openly – as if that was the way they had always talked – even though in fact this was the first time. This was the way things should have been long ago.

"What about you?" he asked to keep the conversation up once it had started. "Do you miss England?"

"Sometimes," Elizabeth replied, watching as Ella picked up a flower, sniffed it, dropped it, and kept toddling on. Then she turned to look at Robert again. "But I'm not sure if that's where I belong anymore."

"I know the feeling," Robert sighed. "But you know what they say; 'home is where the heart is'".

"And your heart is here?"

"Well, at least my arm is here," Robert retorted, "So I guess I can say a part of me will always bee in Chicago." 

They both chuckled a little, but as the subject was still painful for both of them, the laughter died off pretty quickly. 

"As for my heart…" Robert continued when Elizabeth didn't say anything. A part of him wanted to confess all his feelings to her and let her either encourage him or smash everything. In a way, both options seemed better than sticking to the situation he was now in; still hoping, but not knowing if there was any real reason for it. If he told Elizabeth he loved him and she said she could never love him back, it would break his heart, but that way he might at least in time have a chance to move on instead of hanging on to the last bits of hope, like he had done with his arm before deciding to 'cut the losses'. Only, amputating a heart would be more painful than amputating an arm.

When Robert's thoughts reached this point, his courage failed. He wasn't ready for another loss so soon.

"As for my heart," he repeated, trying to speak lightly. "I didn't know you actually thought I had a heart."

Elizabeth, who had been fearing Robert would say something more serious, and had been trying to decide how she should reply, only let out a nervous giggle when she heard his words. She hadn't realized before that it was possible to be feeling relieved and disappointed at the same time. Although she wasn't quite certain why she should even be feeling disappointed.

"I never thought you didn't have a heart," he protested as soon as she had recollected herself well enough to reply. "You just keep it well hidden."

At that point, to the relief of them both, they were interrupted by Ella who had picked up some more flowers and now came running to show them to her mother.

"Mommy, look!" she cried excitedly. "Flowas!"

"They're pretty," Elizabeth replied, taking the flowers from the girl and smelling them.

"Mama make Roba better already?" Ella asked next, her eyes inspecting Robert with a curious look in them, as if she was trying to decide whether the man was dying or not.

"She's doing pretty well," Robert replied before Elizabeth could, wondering if those little blue eyes could see through him as easily as the other pair that he knew so well could. "But," he then changed the subject, "I'm afraid she has forgotten that none of us is going to be feeling well in the end of the day unless we eat something now." 

He opened the basket he had brought and under the curious eyes of both Elizabeth and Ella, took out everything he had made.

"Some sandwiches…" Robert itemized to fill the silence, even though the ladies could quite clearly see for themselves what he was taking out. "…Salad…" he continued, "…Fruit."

"Exactly how mane visitors were you expecting?" Elizabeth couldn't help asking when there seemed to be no end to the food that had been fitted into the basket.

"Didn't you say you always eat like a rhino?" Robert asked innocently, finally producing the last apples from the bottom.

"_You _said that, not I!" Elizabeth protested, folding her arms over her chest. "Which, by the way, wasn't very gentlemanlike."

"And when did I ever pretend to be a gentleman?" Robert countered, the sides of his mouth curling into a playful smile.

"You do have a point." Elizabeth had to admit.

"I always do."

"But it's very annoying,"

"What is?"

"That you're always –" Elizabeth cut off.

"What? Always right?" Robert, having stood up, looked triumphantly down at Elizabeth.

"No!"

"But you were going to say that."

"It doesn't matter because I didn't say –" Elizabeth cut off mid-sentence when she noticed that Robert was suddenly heading towards the house. " Where are you going?", she cried after him.

"To get the drinks from the fridge!" Robert quipped over his shoulder before disappearing into the house.

Two hours later they had all finished eating and Ella was beginning to show signs of tiredness as she crouched beside her mother under the apple trees and was soon asleep.

Robert and Elizabeth exchanged looks and, as if on cue, dropped their voices so as not to wake up the girl.

"If you want to take her inside the house, there's a bed in the guestroom," Robert whispered, motioning towards the sleeping child.

Elizabeth shook her head.

"I think we'd better get going," she hissed. "She has had so much action today she could sleep for hours."

"I don't mind," Robert replied honestly, locking Elizabeth's eyes and willing her to stay.

"I'm sure you have better things to do than…" Elizabeth tried to protest, but she felt herself drowning into the depths of Robert's dark eyes, and after a while she couldn't bring herself to think of any good reason not to stay. What would she do alone at home anyway, if Ella was sleeping? 

"You haven't even taken that tour around the house yet," Robert pointed out, not breaking their eye contact.

Elizabeth, however, looked down and smiled.

"That's true," she admitted, finally making up her mind. "Ok, I – we'll stay then."

Robert could hardly believe his ears. Did she just say she would stay?

"You're staying?"

"Yes," Elizabeth smiled, feeling easier now that the decision was made. "But only until Ella wakes up," she hastened to add.

"Of course," Robert replied, beaming.

Elizabeth then quietly picked Ella up while Robert led the way into the house and up the stairs to where the guestroom was, and so Ella was soon tucked safely under the sheets. Elizabeth stayed behind for a while to make sure her daughter was still fast asleep and wouldn't wake up anytime soon. Then she followed Robert out of the room, feeling both apprehensive and oddly comfortable about spending the whole afternoon alone in his company.

To be continued… 


	6. Mirror, Mirror on the Ceiling?

**_A Time of Healing 6_**

****

**Disclaimer:** I own neither ER nor any of its characters and I'm not trying to make any profit by writing this story.

**Author's note:** This story takes place somewhere during the summer between seasons 9 and 10, about a month after the Evil Amputation. It's about Romano and Elizabeth and how they find themselves in each other's company during the time of Romano's medical leave. I've read no spoilers for season 10, so there won't be any of them in this story either. Whatever will be written, will be pure speculation of what might happen. 

Rated **PG-13** for now, but the rating may go up in later chapters.

I'm sorry this update has taken so long. Most of this chapter has actually been written several weeks ago, but it took me forever to finish it, because I really hated the early version and had trouble finding a way to make it even tolerable. I didn't actually mean this chapter to take such a serious turn, but somehow it just shaped to be like this as I wrote it. I'm getting quite convinced that these characters have a will of their own and are doing their own bidding instead of mine.

Chapter 6 ~ Mirror, Mirror on the…Ceiling? 

Elizabeth closed the door quietly behind her as she exited the guest room that had now temporarily become Ella's sleeping space. Robert was waiting for her outside. As soon as she spotted him, she brought her index finger to her lips to keep him silent and then motioned him to follow her a bit further from the room so that they could speak freely without having to be afraid of disturbing Ella.

"Do you want to see the house now?" Robert asked as soon as he reckoned they were far enough to start talking again. 

"I suppose I must," Elizabeth sighed. "Otherwise I'll have to come over yet again, and that simply wouldn't do."

She flashed a smile at Robert as soon as she had spoken, but this expression went completely unnoticed to him as his heart quickly sank.

"I see," he said quietly, the disappointment evident in his voice. Only a few minutes ago everything had seemed to be going on so well, and now all of a sudden Elizabeth was saying she didn't want to come to visit him anymore? Had he only imagined the blushes and everything else? How could he have been so foolish as to let his own hopes deceive him again – after he had sworn that it wouldn't happen anymore? Anger was slowly beginning to take over in Robert's mind – most of it was directed at himself, but some also at Elizabeth for being such an unreachable, irresistible thing. He bit his lip and tried to come up with something less pathetic than 'I see' for a response, but the words hadn't yet left his mouth before he finally noticed that Elizabeth was smiling at him mischievously.

He could only wonder why she was still looking at him so encouragingly when she so obviously was turning him down. Again. 

"What's so amusing?" he asked grumpily.

"Nothing," Elizabeth replied. "I was just wondering whether you might be interested in coming to my place next time. It's not really fair that you have to put up with me here every time. It's your turn to be the guest and come to mock my cooking."

Robert was breathing again. And smiling. The anger melted away as quickly as it had began taking over.

"Your place?" he repeated, not caring if he sounded like a parrot.

"If you want to come, of course," Elizabeth nodded.

"Um…yeah, sure," Robert replied. "And what will the occasion be? Dinner? Lunch? Breakfast?"

Elizabeth chuckled.

"I was actually thinking about afternoon tea, but I suppose you could stay for dinner too," she offered.

"And here I was thinking the afternoon tea was just a myth," Robert smiled back, finding his playfulness again. Then he took a more serious expression before adding: "I wouldn't give up that experience for anything."

They looked into each others eyes and shared a smile of what seemed like perfect understanding and companionship, and then suddenly, neither of them quite knowing who had made the initial, they began leaning in towards each other. However, when their lips were only inches apart, they both stopped, as if of a mutual agreement, and waited for the other to either make the final move or to back off. And for a fraction of a second Robert thought of pulling back, for the fear of being rejected, but he instantly knew it to be impossible. He'd regret it for the rest of his life if he'd let go of a chance like this. 

It had to be now or never. Robert brought his hand to the back of Elizabeth's head and pulled her closer so that the remaining gap between them became closed. He first kissed her cheek, still wanting to give her time to back off if she wished, but when Elizabeth did nothing to stop him, his next action was to claim her mouth. He ran his hand through her hair – something he had wanted to do ever since he first laid eyes on her – and then gently pressed a series of kisses on and around her lips, desperately trying to make Elizabeth respond, and finally, just as he was about to give up, she let out a soft moan and gave in to him. For a blissful moment everything in the world seemed perfect. She was kissing him back. 

Robert had no idea how long they went on. Time seemed to be standing still as he slowly worked his way through her mouth and on to her neck, until he finally reached the point where continuing would have required them to take off their clothes and to find a place more soft and intimate than the floor of the corridor they were still standing on. Elizabeth, on her part, soon came to the same realization and, hardly believing she had even let things go as far as they already had, quickly pulled away.

For a while they both stood breathless, gazing warily at each other as if fearing something would explode if they either of them moved or spoke. Robert was afraid that if he as much as blinked, Elizabeth would take the opportunity and run, while Elizabeth was terrified that she would again lose control of herself and would end up doing something she would surely regret. The possibility of leaving didn't even cross her mind. Finally, Robert couldn't take it any longer. He had to say something. Anything.

"Um…there's that tour we haven't yet taken," he managed to come up with.

At the sound of his voice Elizabeth, who had been staring at the walls almost transfixed, blinked and turned to look at him. It took her racing mind a while to catch up with what had just been said. 

"The tour?" she repeated. Then, realizing what Robert was talking about, exclaimed. "Ah, the tour."

"Yes, _the_ tour," Robert also repeated, unable to resist the temptation of mocking Elizabeth's slowness. Besides, the situation clearly called for something less serious. "The grand tour around the magnificent Romano Residence, one of the most notable sights of Chicago."

His playfulness, however, found little response from Elizabeth:

"Um…Robert," she said uneasily, fidgeting with her hands, "I'm not sure if that is such a good idea…"

"Does that mean your fishing for yet another invitation? I thought you said it was my turn to be the guest next time." 

Elizabeth sighed. Ella was still asleep and there was no point in waking her up just so that she could escape a personal mess she had created. At least touring the house would have to be a safer choice than sitting down alone and uninterrupted  in some dimly lit corner of the house for an entire afternoon and evening. 

"Fine," she finally consented.

Robert grinned and, motioning Elizabeth to follow him, took off almost immediately. He led the way through the house and she followed. Some doors he left unopened, but most of the rooms he introduced to Elizabeth with as much details as he could, until they finally reached a grand room with an enormous four poster bed placed against one of the walls.

Elizabeth, remembering a discussion they had shared during a surgery some years ago, instinctively looked up at the ceiling as they entered the large room that Robert introduced as the master's bedroom  (although with the massive bed dominating the scenery, the explanation was hardly necessary). Robert followed her gaze and smirked.

"No mirrors, I see," Elizabeth remarked, turning to face Robert with a teasing smile on her face. She had, by now, regained most of her composure after their earlier intercourse that had left them both uneasy. 

"Is that disappointment I hear in your voice?" he returned playfully.

Elizabeth chose not to reply. Instead, she looked around, marveling at the grandness of the house, the bedroom and, indeed, the bed itself. To his pleasure Robert noticed that her eyes rested on the four-poster quite a while. He could only wonder whether her thoughts were at all similar to his. Probably not, though, seeing as he was picturing himself lying there between the sheets with Elizabeth, their naked bodies pressed against each other… A smile crept onto his face as his thoughts progressed. 

He then stole a glance at Elizabeth and noticed that she was also still looking at the bed with an odd expression on her face, as if she couldn't quite decide what she should be thinking or feeling. Robert saw this as his opportunity to break the silence and to find out where her mind might be at:

"Wanna try it?" he asked innocently. He grinned as Elizabeth almost jumped at the sound of  his voice and then blushed most becomingly. 

"I beg your pardon?" she gasped.

"I mean, you could take a nap, or just sit down, and see how comfortable this is," Robert continued. He sat down on the bed himself and bounced a little, tapping an empty spot on his right hand side as an invitation for Elizabeth to come and sit down next to him.

She eyed him suspiciously and didn't say anything. Robert took an innocent expression:

"What?" he asked, feigning surprise. "You didn't think I would have anything else in mind?"

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. She knew perfectly well what Robert had meant, but as she was quite accustomed to his double meanings after six years of working with him, it was not his words but her own reaction to them that irritated her. Since when had she become a blushing school girl in his presence? She had never been afraid of Robert and this certainly wasn't the time to start – she would sit down next to him with the perfect air of indifference.

And so she did.

Robert took a deep breath. He and Elizabeth. Together. On his bed. He had been fantasizing about this moment for so long – with the minor difference, of course, that in his dreams they usually weren't sitting on the edge of the bed, fully clothed. But still, she was close enough for him to actually be able to feel her warmth, and – if he had the courage – close enough for him to wrap his arm around her.

"So, is this where all your tours end?" Elizabeth broke the silence after a while, smiling awkwardly.

Robert returned from his thoughts and, feeling courageous, lifted his hand and gently removed an errant curl from Elizabeth's face before half whispering his reply into her ear:

"Only for special guests."

His words, however, did not have the desired effect:

"Robert, I…" Elizabeth began uncomfortably, jerking her head away from his touch. Robert dropped his hand, fearing he had gone too far. Again. Would he ever learn to control himself in her presence?

Elizabeth got up and began pacing around the room. _'Well, at least she hasn't run away yet'_, Robert thought ruefully. But perhaps it was too early to say, because by the looks of it, she certainly was debating whether to stay or to go. Finally she stopped in the middle of the room and glanced at Robert warily. Then, she came a bit closer and took a deep breath:

"Robert," she said. "I think we should talk – I mean really seriously talk about…about you and I."

Robert swallowed and cast his eyes down. Surely, she would now say it would be better for both of them to see less of each other.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I'm truly sorry about what happened earlier in the corridor, and what I did just now. It was a momentary…- It won't happen again." He cut off, but his mind kept shouting: "Just please – stay."

"You've said that before," Elizabeth replied sternly. Then, smiling a little: "But that's not what I meant. I wasn't expecting an apology. It was my fault as much as it was yours," she came to a halt, took another deep breath, and continued: "Which is exactly why I think we ought to talk – to decide where we stand."

Robert looked up in disbelief. Did she just say it had been her fault? Did she say 'we' as if there was an 'us'? His spirits were instantly lifted again.

"Where do you think we stand?" he ventured to ask, not wanting to presume anything.

"I don't know," Elizabeth sighed exasperatedly. "I thought we could become friends, but-"

"Could become?" Robert interrupted her. 

"Ok, I thought we _were friends," she corrected, "But I'm pretty sure friends aren't supposed to…to be doing things like we…well, did."_

"I wouldn't mind," Robert quipped, but Elizabeth silenced him with another one of her stern looks. 

"Do you want to hear this or not?" she snapped.

Robert cleared his throat and looked at her with the best puppy face he could master.

"I'm sorry."

"Good," she smirked, loosening up a little again. "I must say I'm impressed actually; it's already the second time today."

"I'm sure you'll be downright amazed by the end of the day." Robert replied, but he wasn't quite sure what he meant by it. After all, he had no reason to expect that Elizabeth would stay long enough to become amazed.

She gave her an unreadable look and did not reply.

There was a short silence. Elizabeth seemed to be gathering her breath and thoughts, probably also her courage, for something she was apparently going to say, and Robert could only wonder what was coming. Would it be a lengthy explanation of why they should stop seeing each other outside of work, or something else? He was hoping for something else. 

Finally Elizabeth began:

"I've known you for over six years," she stated. "Or rather, it was more than six years ago that we first met. But I feel like I've only come to know you this past year, these past weeks." She looked at Robert to see his first reaction. He met her gaze and nodded very slightly. She was right. He had always kept up a shield to stop others from seeing what was inside, but his injury had made him more vulnerable, especially to the one person he truly cared about. Elizabeth nodded as well and then continued:

"I know now– " she paused and hesitated; "No, I mean, I have known for the greatest part of our acquaintance that you have – that you and I have had quite different feelings for each other over the years – different opinions of where our relationship should be heading." 

She paused again to see if Robert could still agree with what she was saying. He didn't protest.

"At first I thought nothing of it," she went on. "I was surprised when you asked me out, and I was quite convinced you wouldn't spare me another thought after I refused," she smiled. "In fact, I probably would have deserved that."

"But even as you did continue to, well, make your moves on me, I kept assuming it wasn't serious. Then the years just passed by and I grew more and more accustomed to your…flirting. Eventually I began to look at it as a habit, nothing more."

Elizabeth paused to take a breath, but this time she didn't look at Robert. 

"Then, Mark died," she continued, swallowing, "and I saw a new side of you. It surprised me, but I didn't think much of it at the time. I had so many other things in my mind then. And then we didn't see each other for months. You lost your arm…" she stopped. "Well, I don't need to tell you all this. You were there, you know what happened."

Robert could see she did not wish to dwell on the subject, and silently he agreed. It was hard enough to live with the fact his arm had been severed. He'd rather not keep talking about it.

There was yet another pause. Elizabeth glanced timidly at Robert, as if wanting to make sure he was ok, and he motioned her to go on. After a while she did:

"What I really meant to talk about is what happened a little over a month ago, when your arm was…"

"That's probably not necessary," Robert interrupted. The amputation was also something he didn't wish to talk about, not even with Elizabeth. At least not yet. He tried to put the matter off lightly: "As you might remember," he pointed out, "it was my arm that was amputated, so I couldn't really avoid being present. I know what happened there."

"Do you?" Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. Robert was surprised to see she had suddenly turned quite pale and was breathing rather heavily.

"I know you came to the surgery," he replied. "You weren't there when I went under, but – I found out in the recovery that you had arrived a bit later." 

"And after surgery?" Elizabeth was now holding her breath.

Robert frowned.

"I woke up, but you weren't there." He paused. A suspicion had begun to form in his head. "Did something happen during the surgery?" he asked. "Did the idiots make some stupid mistake I should know about?"

"No, nothing happened during the surgery. It was after the surgery, when you were coming out of the anesthesia. You said something that – that caught me a bit unawares."

Robert mentally slapped himself. What had he said?

"You know, if I said something rude – I probably didn't even know it was you beside me. You know what the drugs do," he tried to explain himself even though he had no idea what he was supposed to be excusing himself of.

"No, it wasn't anything rude," Elizabeth assured him, "and you said my name, so even if you don't remember it now, you probably knew it was me."

 She paused and looked questioningly at Robert. He was beginning to feel more and more uncomfortable, trying in vain to remember what he could possibly have said that was not rude but still upsetting. He could think of a few possibilities, but as much as he tried, he couldn't remember what really had taken place. 

Elizabeth was intentionally giving Robert some time to try and come to the realization himself. She had been hoping she wouldn't need to explain and say the words out loud herself if he would remember, but as he only seemed to be racking his brains without any sign of remembrance, she finally had to continue:

"You said I was a good surgeon…" she began, still dragging her words.

_'Well, that's not so bad'_, Robert thought, slightly relieved even though he knew more was yet to come.

"…and that I was beautiful…"

_'Can't deny that either' _ He smiled, but Elizabeth only blushed and looked down.

"And…thenyousaidyoulovedme," The words came rushing out of her mouth. 

Robert froze.

"Come again?" he uttered in disbelief, the smile dying on his lips.

"You said you loved me." Elizabeth repeated more calmly, taking a deep breath. Then she forced a laugh and continued: "But I don't know why I'm making such a big deal of it…You were very heavily drugged. You'd probably have said the same thing to Anspaugh if he had been there instead of me."

Robert couldn't believe his own stupidity, regardless of how high on drugs he had been. He should have known that the truth would escape his lips when he was in such a state and he should have tried to keep Elizabeth away from the surgery at all costs instead of begging her to be there. It was humiliating enough to love someone without being loved in return, but it was even worse now that Elizabeth knew – unless he could keep her believing it had been the drugs talking. 

"Well, I'm happy it wasn't Anspaugh, because I'd hate to be having this conversation with him." Robert finally retorted, also managing a forced laugh. Too forced.

Silence. It was useless. She already knew.

"Elizabeth…" Robert began again once they'd both been staring into opposite directions long enough. "That's not what you're really thinking, is it?"

"No, I don't think there's anything between you and Donald, if that's what you worry about." Elizabeth grinned. She must have seen right through him, because now she too was avoiding the subject. A serious look from Robert cut her short.

"Right…" she cleared her throat. "The truth is I don't know what to think. At first I was certain you didn't mean it. I blamed the drugs, and I was able to put the matter off for a while Then one evening I remembered the words again and couldn't get them out of my mind. I started thinking back to everything that has happened between us over the years, last year in particular, and I began to realize there was a possibility that you had meant what you said."

Robert smiled ruefully. She knew him too well. He wished he could just look Elizabeth in the eye and say that it had been the drugs, that he hadn't meant anything. That was probably what she was hoping he would say, but he couldn't do it. He couldn't deny his feelings. For a long time he had tried and it had been to no avail. 

"What difference would it make, whether I meant it or not?" he finally asked after what seemed like a long silence. "If you didn't care about me before, why should anything be different now? Just forget what I said and move on."  His voice kept rising as he spoke: "I don't want your pity, so if you had any thoughts about that, Corday, you can shove them up your..." 

Elizabeth sighed and sat down next to Robert again, silencing him with a wave of her hand.

"I know, " she cut him off. "You're right. It shouldn't, and it won't, change my feelings as such, but I can't just forget about it either. I realized I've never really thought about my feelings as far as you have been concerned, ever. Until the last few days or weeks I've never even seriously considered the possibility of…well, us. And now, the more I think of it, the more confused I am." She paused to gather more breath, and then looked cautiously at Robert. "Does that make any sense to you?"

Robert nodded slowly. Elizabeth continued:

"It was so easy to brush everything off as long as I was persuaded that your feelings for me were only superficial. It was incredibly easy to just shrug and say 'oh, it's just Robert. Don't take it too seriously,' but – but now I'm not so sure anymore, about anything. Neither about my own feelings nor about yours. I don't know where we stand anymore. All I know is…"

She paused and blushed.

"…All I know is that I've really enjoyed these past few days, and I don't want to go home thinking that I wouldn't see you again before you return to work."

Robert didn't know what to say. There was so much he would have wanted to say, but nothing seemed quite appropriate for the occasion. He neither wanted to scare Elizabeth away by professing his undying love there and then, nor did he wish to break the current mood by changing the subject into something less serious. A part of him also felt the need to pinch himself, just to make sure he really was awake, but that would have been too stupid an action to be performed in front of her. He'd have to do it later. 

Finally Robert was brought back to present as Elizabeth nudged him gently.

"Robert?" she whispered.

"Huh?" he turned to look at her, trying to search her eyes. 

"You're pretty quiet," she tried to smile, but felt uneasy under his stare. Yet, she did not look away.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked softly, resisting the urge to caress her cheek.

"The truth." Elizabeth said firmly, still holding his gaze.

 "I think you already know the truth, because apparently I've said the words to you before" he replied, smiling sadly. He heard Elizabeth take in a deep breath and he heard the pounding of his own heart. Then, almost involuntarily, the words came out of his mouth as he suddenly remembered: 

"I love you, Elizabeth," he whispered.

To be continued… 


	7. Resolutions

**_A Time of Healing 7_**

****

**Disclaimer:** I own neither ER nor any of its characters and I'm not trying to make any profit by writing this story.

**Author's note:** This story takes place somewhere during the summer between seasons 9 and 10, about a month after the Evil Amputation. It's about Romano and Elizabeth and how they find themselves in each other's company during the time of Romano's medical leave.

I'm sorry I've again taken so much time to update. I've read some spoilers for season 10 now, and I wish I hadn't, but I promise this story is going to remain spoiler-free. 

Sorry if this isn't such a great chapter. I've been a bit uninspired lately. :( 

Rated **PG-13** for now, but the rating may go up in later chapters.

_Chapter 7 - Resolutions_

Robert couldn't believe he had said those words aloud. And he couldn't believe that Elizabeth was still sitting next to him. Not that there was much to rejoice about that. He had always thought nothing could be worse than seeing her run away after he had said or done something emotional. 

He had been wrong.

It was much harder to keep watching her, trying to guess whether the look on her face was pity, guilt, horror or something else. Whatever it was, it was not the same feeling he had just proclaimed – unless she had a very strange way of showing it. The fact that she had gone completely speechless wasn't making the situation any easier.

"Well, you wanted to hear the truth, so…" he said defensively.

Elizabeth was still silent. She was frantically searching for some witty remark to lighten up the mood, but all her ideas were pathetic at best. Robert's words had hit her harder than she had expected. It was almost as if his confession had managed to touch and find resonance in some part of her own feelings which she hadn't even known existed. 

"I – I honestly don't know what to say, Robert," she finally spoke, abandoning the idea of laughing things off.

"I know," he replied quietly, "I understand."

"No, I don't think you do," Elizabeth said a little more firmly, "because I certainly don't understand."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I…I'm not sure." Elizabeth looked down at her fidgeting hands.

Robert snorted. If this was her way of trying to break it to him gently that she wasn't interested, then screw it all. He didn't want her pity.

"Really?" he snapped, more sharply than he had intended. "And which part might it be that you're finding so hard to understand? That I am foolish enough to still have feelings for you after you've made it so clear that you don't want anything from me? Or that I'm stupid enough to say it aloud? You're probably feeling so sorry for me now, but look – I don't want your pity, so why don't you just shove it!"

For a moment Elizabeth gaped at Robert in disbelief. Then she got up. She felt anger rising in her but she did nothing to stop it. If she'd learned anything from all the years she had worked with Robert, it was the fact that it was much easier to be angry and throw insults at him than to try and have a serious conversation.

"No. What I don't understand is why you always have to be such an insufferable prick," she spat out, "and I don't understand why I just can't hate you like any normal people would! Do you ever even listen to other people before you start barking at them?"

Elizabeth didn't stay to wait for an answer. She stormed out, banging the door shut behind her as she went, but she didn't get far before she began to feel awful about what she had just said. As if it was perfectly normal and acceptable for everyone to hate Robert. She knew she hadn't meant it, but did he know? He had taken enough crap lately even without her adding anything to it.

But she couldn't go back. Not yet. She was too much worked up and too confused. It was a bad combination. She was afraid she would act on an impulse and do something stupid. She needed more time.

Elizabeth forced herself to turn her back on the door again and walk away, and as she did so, she suddenly became very much aware of how much a part of her was hoping that Robert would come after her. But the door remained closed. Perhaps it was beneath Robert Romano to run after any woman.

Or perhaps it was just a man who had been rejected too many times trying to avoid yet another rejection. 

Elizabeth's resolution almost broke, but she remembered Robert's words:

_'I don't want your pity'_

Fine. His wish would be granted.

Elizabeth soon found her way to the guest room, but as she opened the door and saw that Ella was still sound asleep, she didn't have the heart to wake her up just yet. It couldn't hurt anyone if she waited a little while longer.

Robert fell on his back on the bed as soon as Elizabeth was gone. She had done it again. Or he had done it again…Whatever. He had let his guard down and she had run. Only this time, he had driven her away because he hadn't been able to stand her presence anymore. If she didn't care about him, why didn't she just say so? It would have been easier for both of them. But no – she was sorry for him, he could see it, and she obviously didn't want to be responsible for breaking his heart.

She probably wasn't aware that now she was tearing him down piece by piece and that way making the torture much longer and more painful for him. Robert closed his eyes. He'd wait until she was out of the house and the less he'd see of her in the future, the better. If she wouldn't put an end to this, then he would.

That's what he should have done long ago.

Robert waited. Now she had probably picked up Ella and convinced the child that it was time to leave. Soon he would hear the front door being opened and closed, and then he'd hear her car. He wanted to get up and go peek through the window, just to get a last glimpse of her, but he convinced himself not to. If he was going to stay away from her he had better start learning self control. Besides, she might look up and see him.

Or not. She probably wouldn't bother.

And neither would he. He would wait until she was gone.

He waited…

….and waited.

But why couldn't he hear anything? Surely she should be out by now – unless…Robert sat up abruptly. What if she hadn't gone anywhere? He jumped up before he could remember his new resolution and rushed out of the room, hurrying through the floor until he reached the staircase. There he stopped.

The house was silent. Robert snorted. He had probably just been too busy swelling in his self pity to hear the door and the car. Of course she had gone. She had no reason to stay. He had been a fool.

Robert decided to go downstairs nevertheless, to pour himself a large drink – he might just as well, now that he had been stupid enough to get up. Anything with a decent amount of alcohol would do. The sooner he'd be senseless the better.

Having helped himself to a glass of brandy, and having taken a few gulps straight from the bottle to get started, he made his way to the living room – and nearly dropped his glass as he saw the sleeping form of Elizabeth curled up on his couch.

She was sleeping peacefully, a little smile gracing her lips. Robert hardly dared to breath in his fear of waking her up. As quietly as he could, he sat down on the chair opposite the couch and let out his breath. She was so beautiful. He felt he shouldn't be staring at her like he did, he knew she would feel uncomfortable if she knew, but he couldn't help himself.

Time went by and Robert had already finished his glass when Elizabeth finally stirred and opened her eyes. She started as she noticed where she was and then sat up quickly.

"What time is it?" she mumbled hastily, reaching for her own watch. "Where's Ella?"

"She's still sleeping," Robert replied softly, half relieved, half disappointed that she was only interested in the watch and scarcely seemed to notice his existence in the room – as if nothing had happened between them earlier.

Elizabeth relaxed and leaned back on the couch.

"I should probably go and wake her up soon," she sighed, "or she'll never sleep tonight."

But she made no effort to get up. Instead, for the first time after waking up, she let her eyes rest on Robert. 

"I'm sorry I took over your couch," she said with a hint of a smile. "I was waiting for Ella to wake up and fell asleep myself."

"You're welcome to crash on my couch anytime you wish," Robert replied monotonously.

Elizabeth looked down guiltily and bit her lip. There was a silence, which she broke after a while:

"Look, Robert, I'm sorry…" she began, but Robert got up and began heading towards the kitchen to refill his glass.

"Don't be, it's just a couch," he quipped as he swept pass Elizabeth. 

"I'm not talking about the bloody couch," she snapped and got up to follow him. Her voice softened again as she reached him in the kitchen: 

"I shouldn't have yelled at you before." she almost whispered.

Robert set down his glass, but didn't turn to face Elizabeth.  He couldn't. All his resolution would disappear if he allowed himself to look into her eyes. 

"It's ok," he replied softly, staring into his glass. "It was my fault."

"No it wasn't," Elizabeth insisted gently, placing her hand on Robert's shoulder. "You said the most beautiful thing to me and I freaked out."

Robert did not reply. He smiled grimly at Elizabeth's words. So, his words had freaked her out? Perhaps the look on her face had been horror after all.

And yet, now her hand was resting so warmly on his shoulder and he was beginning to feel an almost irresistible urge to turn around and kiss her forcibly on the lips, even though he knew it could only turn into another disaster. He'd have to get a grip of himself.

"I don't know why I reacted like that," she continued, taking the glass away from Robert and setting it down so that it was out of his reach. "I guess, in a way, I already knew you had feelings for me. I thought I was ready to hear whatever you might have to say to me. I just didn't realize I might…eh…Never mind." Elizabeth trailed off. Robert had turned to look at her, his dark eyes burning with emotion and desire, and as she met his gaze she soon forgot what she had been intending to say. Surely it couldn't have been anything that important.

"I - I have to go and wake up Ella. It's getting late," she finally mumbled, blinking and taking a few cautious steps backwards. The fire in Robert's eyes disappeared instantly and she quickly began to regret her movement. 

"Yeah, that would probably be the best," he said morosely.

"I'll call you tomorrow," Elizabeth offered almost apologetically. "This day has been just…too much." She didn't know how to express her feelings. In fact, she had no idea what her feelings really were. It was better to just flee now that she had already excused herself.

Before Robert could decide whether he should feel offended or hopeful, Elizabeth had disappeared upstairs to get Ella. But by the time she returned and bid him goodnight with a quick kiss on the cheek, he had decided to stay hopeful. Damn the resolutions. He had made another resolution much, much earlier, and he would rather hold on to that: he would get Elizabeth Corday if it was the last thing he did.

Once outside, Elizabeth tried to focus on putting a yawny Ella in the car.

"Did you sleep well, honey?" she asked, her mind still drifting back to the man she had left behind.

Ella nodded sleepily.

"Where's Roba?" she asked, as if reading her mother's mind.

"Robert is inside," Elizabeth replied, blushing against her will and turning to look towards the house just in time to see Robert's figure retreating from the window.

"Why Roba not come with us?" Ella continued her questioning.

 "He lives here and we live in another place," her mother tried to explain. "Everybody must sleep in their own house."

Ella frowned, but didn't make any further questions before they were both in the car. Then she continued:

"Did mama make Roba better?" 

Elizabeth fell silent. She looked down at the steering wheel until a smile finally crept onto her face.

"Not yet," she replied, turning to grin at Ella. "But I will."

"I will," she repeated to herself as she drove away, taking one last glance at the window that was now deserted.

_To be continued…_


End file.
